Times are tough for NBA players. The gentlemen of the association simply want to play the sport they love, yet the lockout stands in their way. Though the current work stoppage is far from an ideal situation, it also presents a unique opportunity for athletes to pursue ventures they may have otherwise overlooked.
In this week's photo, Karl Malone is shown living up to his nickname "The Mailman" by delivering basketballs to the residents of Salt Lake City. If this lockout must persist, let us hope that more players expand their horizons with new endeavors. Should the NBA fail to provide me with a 2011-2012 season, the very least I expect is a reality show featuring Chris "The Birdman" Andersen learning to tend pigeons or Brian "The Custodian" Cardinal struggling with the rigors of mopping hallways. Is that so much to ask?
Feeling locked out like your mom forget to put the spare key back? To cheer you up, here's some dunknasty action for this week. Seeing as we are locked out of the NBA, here is a stuff from the 2010-2011 NCAA season courtesy of Louisville's Kyle Kuric. Apparently, white men can jump. BONUS: Classic Bob Knight commentary in the video, post-dunk.
The morning of July 16, 2011 began like every other this month, waking up to the realization that I am still a victim of the NBA lockout. And as an individual who relies on basketball both for my personal entertainment and writing fodder, the work stoppage has been doubly painful for me.
To fulfill the emptiness in my heart where NBA action resided not so long ago, I’ve been relegated to watching whatever ancient footage NBATV chooses to air. Today, my lone option was a 1985 regular season matchup between the Celtics and Knicks. But as hard as I try to enjoy the little NBA activity I am granted access to, I find it pretty difficult to get excited about grainy footage of game with a predetermined outcome featuring Kevin McHale’s awkward shoulders and a cameo from Carl Banks.
Fortunately Minnesota's delusional GM David Kahn stepped in to shake up the bleak landscape of the NBA world.
No, Kahn wasn't burning four first-round picks on guards, accusing the NBA of rigging the lottery, or proclaiming Darko Milicic to be "manna from heaven" on this day. His most recent exploit was revealing that Don Nelson may be in line to succeed Kurt Rambis as head coach.
It is as if Kahn is trying to make America forget his blunders of old by continually breeding worse and worse ideas. After all, his choice words at the NBA Draft Lottery this year silenced the criticism about signing two backup point guards (Ramon Sessions and Luke Ridnour) to matching $16 million contracts in consecutive years. Perhaps, the next step in the nonsensical mind of David Kahn is to implement Nellie Ball in an attempt to erase the memory of the 132 losses over the past two seasons.
However -- as is the case with most of David Kahn's basketball related ideas, visions, epiphanies, or whatever you'd like to call them -- there are a number of reasons why this would be the worst idea ever.
1. The T-Wolves gave up 107.7 points per game last season. Keep in mind, that was under a coach that supposedly emphasized defense to some extent. Even if Nelson can get Minnesota's array of young talent to put up 120 points per night, they're going to be allowing in the neighborhood of 140 (I hope I'm exaggerating, but you never know with the Wolves.)
2. Three years ago Anthony Randolph tore up the Las Vegas Summer League and even received an invite to the USA National Team mini-camp. Don Nelson rewarded him by relegating Randolph to the darkest depths of Nellie's doghouse then eventually insisting he seek a trade out of Golden State. It should be disastrous interesting to see how Nelson/Randolph, Part II works out in Minnesota.
3. If the league has to bar Don Nelson from drinking beer at post-game press conferences, he's probably not going to be the guiding light to point Michael Beasley in the right direction. Yes, I know Beasley's often publicized troubles have come as a result of marijuana, not alcohol, but still couldn't David Kahn find one coach out there with a little bit better track record?
This potential move has implications beyond simply who calls Minnesota's Xs and Os. As a basketball fan, I don't know if I can handle another year of the constant media circus surrounding Miami's big three. If Nelson is to become the next T-Wolves head coach, I can only the hope Minnesota's dysfunctional three ring circus of a basketball team can steal some headlines from The Heatles.
I don't know if I would go so far as to say America needs more lunatic GMs at the helm of their franchises, but as it stands David Kahn is doing a fine job of keeping me entertained during these most stagnant of times.
All signs point to this being a lengthy lockout, and I anxiously await the next trick up Kahn's sleeve.
The rumor around town is that Shaquille O'Neal will be joining Charles Barkley and the gang as the newest member of TNT's broadcast team. Though I had originally begged for ESPN to hire Shaq as Van Gundy's new counterpart for ESPN games, I certainly am not disappointed with the way things turned out. The combo of Sir Charles and The Big (almost any noun in the English dictionary is applicable) immediately has the potential to be considered one of the all-time great dynamic duos right along with Jordan & Pippen, Batman & Robin, and Peanut Butter & Jelly...
though I am uncertain where Shaq and Cindy Crawford rank on the long list of history's great tandems.
On Independence Day, we pay homage to this nation's forefathers for allowing America to become what it is today. Those men were true innovators, and it is only fitting that Court of Appeals' July 4th Edition of the old school pic would be an equally revolutionary figure. As you celebrate America's birth, take a moment to commemorate the birth of the beautiful sport of basketball and its founder, James Naismith.
Report cards have never been a favorite of mine. Many of the marks I've received in the past have required me to justify the letter grade to my parents with some contrived and bumbling explanation.
NBA Draft grades, in my opinion, are quite similar. Though I'd be assigning the grades rather than receiving them, doling out scores to teams for their draft day moves would require me to pass immediate judgment on players that may need years to develop and others that I know nothing about (Chukwudiebere Maduabum?!?)
With that said, I marked this event on my calendar months in advance; it's simply against my nature not to fully scrutinize the draft. So I just cut out all the malarkey with the grades, predictions, and irrelevant selections and got down to some good old-fashioned speculating.
Cleveland Cavaliers
The Cavaliers had a pretty awful season in year 1 P.D. (Post-Decision) and despite making two of the top four picks, that is not likely to change drastically in 2011-2012 whenever NBA basketball resumes. Kyrie Irving was the safe pick at #1 and should be a solid piece to build around in the future. With the #4 pick the Cavs got their guy, Tristan Thompson, though the pick was widely considered a reach especially considering Thompson plays the same position as Cleveland's best young player, J.J. Hickson.
The Cavs addressed the frontcourt situation by shipping Hickson to Sacramento in return for Omri Casspi and the Rockets' 2012 first round pick. Still, a lineup of Irving, Anthony Parker, Omri Casspi, Antawn Jamison, and Anderson Varejao doesn't exactly strike fear in the heart of opponents. But, you've got to start somewhere I suppose. See you in the lottery next year.
Minnesota Timberwolves
Boneheaded draft night moves have come to define David Kahn's tenure as GM in Minnesota. On draft night, Kahn's kept things interesting by completing a whirlwind of trades but, in his defense, managed not to ruin the entire franchise in the process. The Wolves began with the 2nd and 20th picks, but by the end of the draft they had sent out Jonny Flynn (Kahn's #6 selection and the second of four guards taken merely two years ago) while adding Brad Miller, Derrick Williams, Malcolm Lee, and two future second rounders.
If that sounds too good to be true for the infamous Kahn, it is. His obligatory blunder came as he bought the #57 pick to select Tanguay Ngombo out of Qatar. The only problem: Ngombo falsely stated his age as 21, when in fact he is 26 years old, thus making him too old to be eligible for the draft. A simple look at Qatar's national team roster would have confirmed his true age, but I suppose that would have been too much to ask. Oops!
Utah Jazz
Many experts are calling the Jazz the biggest winners in the draft, and I fully agree. Kanter doesn't necessarily fill a need but his selection provides a cheaper alternative to Millsap and Jefferson, which gives the Jazz the flexibility to trade one or the other for an established veteran. As for their #12 pick, Alec Burks gives Utah an athletic scorer whose skill set will complement CJ Miles and Gordon Hayward. I won't make too many bold predictions for this year's draft, but I do believe that Alec Burks will eventually become one of the elite players in the 2011 class. You heard it here first.
Washington Wizards
We'll hope this #6 overall pick nicknamed the Dunking Ninja turns out better than the last #6 pick and fellow Wizard known as the Dunking Ninja. (In fairness to Yi, I don't know if he's ever been called the Dunking Ninja, but he does bear a stronger resemblance to every ninjamost ninjas than Vesely, so it's only logical.)
Charlotte Bobcats
Michael Jordan doesn't have the best track record when it comes to draft picks, so I'm hesitant to give him the benefit of the doubt on the trade up to get Bismack Biyombo. Biyombo averaged 6 points per game in the second division of the Spanish league, so I feel my skepticism is warranted. Yes, I am aware he recorded a triple-double at the Nike Hoops Summit, but the last African player (Mouhamed Saer Sene four years ago) with no offensive game whatsoever, that recorded double digit blocks in the Hoop Summit, and was selected in the lottery, is now playing for BCM Gravelines Dunkerque in France. Who? My point exactly.
Detroit Pistons
The Piston's were happy to have Brandon Knight fall to them at #8, but it was very apparent from his demeanor that he did not feel the same way about landing in Detroit. On the bright side, maybe he'll use that anger as motivation against opponents. At very least his tenure with the Pistons should be more productive than that of Darko Milicic.
Sacramento Kings
The Sacramento Kings landed the almighty Jimmer with the tenth selection, thus pairing him with Tyreke Evans in the backcourt. Though the two provide a sizable scoring threat, clearly there will not be enough shots available for Fredette and Evans to both hoist their desired amount. For the sake of the Kings, let's hope the new Collective Bargaining Agreement stipulates that the game be played with more than one ball. DeMarcus Cousins has been known to get quite aggravated even when he is getting touches, so I'd hate to see what materializes in Sacramento once their guards neglect to get him the ball.
Golden State Warriors
The Warriors added Klay Thompson at #11, which would seem to signal that Monta Ellis is on the way out, though the team continues to deny they are shopping him. However, this could be an acknowledgment by the Warriors that they are incapable of playing defense and will instead focusing on trying to win games by allowing Ellis, Thompson, Stephen Curry, and Dorrell Wright rip as many three pointers as they can manage in 48 minutes.
Denver Nuggets
As far as my research shows, none of the players the Nuggets added on draft night have any tattoos. It remains to be seen how this may effect their team chemistry.
Miami Heat
You may have heard that the Heat added the best player in Cleveland last summer yet still fell to the Mavericks in the NBA Finals. Pat Riley's move to put them over the top? Add the next best player in Cleveland, Norris Cole. No word in yet on whether Cole will show up to play in the fourth quarter of tight games.
Well, the lockout is officially here and we have no choice but to turn elsewhere for our hoops fix. As with all my other major life decisions, I turn to Samuel L. Jackson for guidance, and behold:
