NBA All-Head Case Team

The starting lineups for the NBA All-Star Game were announced this week, and though ten superstars made the cut, the vast majority of the league will instead be home watching. The coaches' selections have yet to be made, but we at Court of Appeals went a different route and chose to commemorate the players least likely to be selected by any coach. This is the NBA All-Head Case Team.

The criteria for selection to the All-Head Case Team is a player who:

1) In no way, shape, or form boosts his team's chemistry
2) Demonstrates outlandish behavior that overshadows positive on-court contributions
3) Is a liability to himself and others
4) Is bat shit crazy

PG - Delonte West

Yeah sure, Delonte posts career averages of 9.7 points and 3.6 assists per game, but he is better known for his (alleged) sexual escapades with LeBron's mom.

Even if we would rather give him the benefit of the doubt on that one, he is a liability to miss shoot around because as he states from 0:54 to 1:07 of this video, "I don't even wear a watch, I don't even need to know the time. 'Cause I get there when I get there. I'm on time. It don't matter if I'm late or early. I'm right on time when I get there so... I don't wear a watch."


Throw in the Three Loaded Guns On a Motorcycle Fiasco of 2009 and Delonte is a lock at point guard for the All-Head Case squad.

SG - Gilbert Arenas

Speaking of gun fiascos... Gilbert Arenas was the unanimous selection (among a selection committee of one) for the 2-spot.

Technically he is no longer an NBA player, but the legacy of his insanity lives on. The fact that Agent Zero remains a free agent less than a year after averaging 17 points per game for the Wizards is a testament to how psycho the man must truly be.

Though we can only hazard guesses at the full extent of his crazed mind, if his Twitter avatar pics are any indication, Gilbert Arenas redefines Criterion #4 for inclusion in this list (that is, bat shit craziness.)

SF - Metta World Peace

a) See name
b) See any or all of following links:
    World Peace on teeth
    World Peace in biggest brawl in American sports history
    World Peace drinking heavily
    World Peace & domestic violence
    World Peace attempting to decapitate JJ Barea
c) 15.2% 3-point shooting

PF - Andray Blatche

Versatility is the name of Blatche's game in the context of this lineup. He could give you 20 and 10 on any given night, but watch out if he approaches a triple-double as he's been known to steal rebounds from teammates and beg opponents for them.

Add the arrests for sexual solicitation and reckless driving on a suspended license and, boom, that power forward slot is all Dray's.


C  - JaVale McGee

Typically, on one of these All-Head Case Teams you don't want to include two teammates for fear that they might bring too much chemistry to the table. Fortunately for my hypothetical lineup, both Blatche and McGee are on the Wizards (who own a 4-20 record.)

He's garnered criticism for the occasional audacious dunk attempt in blowout losses, but his mom has gone on the record saying her son is "not a knucklehead." Mrs. McGee may be telling the truth, but her sheer presence could be a distraction to this squad as long as Delonte is around.

Reserves:

DeMarcus Cousins
Michael Beasley
Ivan Johnson
DeShawn Stevenson
Chris Andersen
Stephen Jackson
Zach Randolph (2001 version)


Court adjourned.

Old School Pic of the Week 1.24

Dirk Nowitzki will be sitting out the Mav's games this week so that he can get back in to proper playing shape. Kudos to Dirk for swallowing his pride and putting in the necessary work, but if he thought Court of Appeals would just let his little vacation slide... he was mistaken.

Cool earring.

Jam of the Week 1/20

This week's slam goes out to the Jazz's CJ miles for prompting a classically bizarre but lovable line from TNT announcer Kevin Harlan in last night's action. Props to CJ for putting Lamar Kardashian Odom on a poster, as well as evoking this response from one of the best in the biz.



"Take me to the dance! Kick up your heels! CJ Miles!"

Old School Pic of the Week 1.17

After 2011 ended with a premature playoff exit, the San Antonio Spurs had hoped to bounce back with a strong start to this season. When Manu Ginobili went down with a broken hand the prospects looked bleak for the Spurs, but instead they have rallied to a 6-2 record since the injury. And though times are good in San Antonio these days, never again will they be as sweet as the time Chuck Person bathed himself in a pile of lollipops.

"Tootsie Pops > Coach Pops"

Jam of the Week 1/13

Nate Robinson is slowly gaining the reputation as a wanderer in the NBA. After four seasons with the Knicks he hasn't seemed to be able to find a fit after making stops in Boston and Oklahoma City. The Golden State Warriors signed Robinson early last week, as increasingly injury prone point guard, Steph Curry, tweaked his ankle. The point guard has discovered and embraced his new role for the Warriors averaging 35 minutes per game, 14 points per game and 4 assists per game. Not too shabby. In the win against the Heat this week, he hit big shots down the stretch, created offense for his teammates and won the hearts of the Warrior faithful. He looks like a leader out there with this young Warriors squad and may have found himself a permanent home in the Bay. This week's dunk goes out to Sea Town's finest, Nate Robinson.

Aligning the Stars: Predicting the 2012 All-Star Rosters

With a condensed season heroes can emerge from nowhere and players can fall from grace in the blink of an eye. That being said, a short season has the possibility to breed an intriguing all-star lineup, quite exciting. With only a few games checked off the schedule, here's who I think will be playing in Orlando on February 26th.




West Starters:

PG Chris Paul, Los Angeles Clippers

SG Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers

SF Kevin Durant, Oklahoma City Thunder

PF Blake Griffin, Los Angeles Clippers

C Pau Gasol, Los Angeles Lakers

Head Coach: Vinny Del Negro, Los Angeles Clippers

East Starters

PG Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls

SG Dwayne Wade, Miami Heat

SF LeBron James, Miami Heat

PF Amar'e Stoudemire, New York Knicks

C Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic

Head Coach: Tom Thibodeau, Chicago Bulls

West Reserves:

PG Russell Westbrook, Oklahoma City Thunder

SG Marcus Thornton, Sacramento Kings

SF Rudy Gay, Memphis Grizzlies

PF Dirk Nowitzki, Dallas Mavericks

PF, LaMarcus Aldridge, Portland Trailblazers

C Kevin Love, Minnesota Timberwolves

SG Monta Ellis, Golden State Warriors

East Reserves:

PG Rajon Rondo, Boston Celtics

PF Chris Bosh, Miami Heat

SG Joe Johnson, Atlanta Hawks

SF Carmelo Anthony, New York Knicks

C Andrew Bogut, Milwaukee Bucks

PG John Wall, Washington Wizards

SF Andre Iguodala, Philadelphia 76ers

Biggest Snubs:

SF Danny Granger, Indiana Pacers

C Al Jefferson Utah Jazz

PF Luis Scola, Houston Rockets

PG Ty Lawson Denver Nuggets

SF Kevin Martin, Houston Rockets

C Tyson Chandler, New York Knicks

Jam of the Week 1/6

It's not often that in sports that an organization sides with a moody, young and erratic player over the team's head coach. The NBA is no normal league, as advertised, it's where amazing happens. There's just no better word to describe how I felt with the Sacramento Kings actions this week, amazed. Coach Paul Westphal was canned after notorious punk and current starting Kings center, DeMarcus Cousins demanded a trade. The Kings made a pretty clear statement with their decision spelled out in this elaborate chart I have created just for you:

Cousins >Westphal

Because of the major, what I'm going to call, "Phal-Out" between the Kings and their former head coach, the dunk of the week goes out to Cousins, the inciter. Keep mixing it up big guy.



"The STRENGTH of DeMarcus Cousins.