Old School Pic of the Week 10.25

It's tough to know what's really going on with the NBA lockout. First there's a huge gulf between the parties, one day we've almost got a new CBA, and next thing you know  the sides are no longer on speaking terms.

After relying on sound bites from the NBA and union to try to make sense of this ordeal, this week the world had the opportunity to hear from head of the NBPA, Billy Hunter, on Bill Simmons' podcast.

Sure, Hunter revealed some interesting stuff about the negotiations: the bias towards owners in the media, divisions between the small-market and large-market owners, and Mark Cuban's proposed elimination of the salary cap to name a few. But the real news was the shocking revelation that David Stern and Hunter were in fact fraternity brothers in Sigma Alpha Mu back in their college days. 

Which got me thinking, is there a better pair of frat brothers to feature in an Old School Pic of the Week than the high-flying duo of Hakeem The Dream and Clyde The Glide from University of Houston's prestigious Phi Slamma Jamma?

I think not.

But don't think the story ends there. The metaphorical significance of this photo -- I'm looking at you, Hunter and Stern -- is that former fraternity brothers, though they may split up and compete against each other for many years (Houston vs. Portland), can still reunite and achieve great things ('95 NBA Champions).

Court adjourned.

The Legacy of Superman

In the now-controversial interview with Scott Raab of Esquire magazine earlier this week, Dwight Howard commented on his impeding free agency and future with the Magic. Among other things, he stated, "I just don't know what else I can do [in Orlando]."

How naïve, Mr. Howard. The immediately list of things that come to mind includes developing a mid-range game, restructuring Gilbert Arenas' $111 million contract, and visiting The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, just to name a few.

But honestly, I'm in no position to tell Dwight Howard what he can and cannot do. He's the 3-time NBA Defensive Player of the Year and I'm a defensive liability at my local YMCA. Shaquille O'Neal on the other hand holds a bit more clout...

and if Dwight has the same affinity for his leisure activities that he has for Shaq's "Superman" moniker, then he should take after his namesake and enjoy the nautical scene in Orlando's own Lake Apopka.

It's as if he's yelling out, "C'mon in, Dwight! The water's great!!"

But if his interview is any indication, it appears doubtful that he will actually mimic Shaq's aquatic ways. Unless, of course, you take aquatic ways to mean the joining the Lake Show, in which case it is far more likely. 

After all, they both share the whole Being a 7-Foot-Tall Center Drafted First Overall by the Magic, Later Adopting the Nickname Superman and Losing in His First NBA Finals Appearance thing, so it seems that the logical next step would be Subsequently Pairing with Kobe Bryant on the Los Angeles Lakers Via Free Agency.

Let's just hope Dwight doesn't force a trade to team up with Dwyane Wade on the Heat in 2019 or he might find himself the defendant in a copyright infringement case.

Court adjourned.

Old School Pic of the Week 10.4

It's Day One-Hundred-and-Whatever of the NBA Lockout. It's sad news, but here's a photo of a mini Georgetown block party (pun intended) at the 1995 All-Star Game to cheer you up. If Patrick Ewing's flat top, those outlandish jerseys, or the mere presence of Dikembe Mutombo can't bring a smile to your place then you need to reevaluate yourself as a basketball fan.

Court adjourned.

Old School Pic of the Week 9.27

This week has very important historical significance in the world of basketball. 20 years ago, USA Basketball selected its national team to compete in the 1992 Barcelona Olympic Games. In case you were unaware, that 1992 Olympic team (better known as the Dream Team) would go on to win its eight Olympic contests by an average margin of nearly 44 points en route to a gold medal.

So of course this week's installment of the Old School Pic should be Charles Barkley dunking on a member of the Angolan national team or something of that nature?

Pshhhh. NOPE!

This post is dedicated to the 1992 Dream Team's most notable snub, one Isiah Lord Thomas III. Here he is wearing a fur coat on the banks of Lake Michigan, probably thinking about what the weather is like in Barcelona.

Court adjourned.

Old School Pic of the Week 9.20

Former University of Michigan sharpshooter Glen Rice was known for his ability to score. During his junior campaign in 1987-88, Rice led the Wolverines in scoring with over 22 points a game and led the team to the Sweet Sixteen.

However, last week it became apparent that Rice's ability to score was not limited to the basketball court. During a tournament in Alaska in 1987, Rice reportedly had a nice little one night fling with a local sports reporter named Sarah Heath.

But why exactly is that particular rendezvous newsworthy? After all, the team's co-MVP surely got plenty of sugar from the lovely ladies of Ann Arbor.

Well, seven months after the hookup, Sarah Heath married her high school sweetheart Tim and became the woman we know today as Sarah Palin. Which led to...

... the Glen "Great Balls of Fire" Rice trading card. Either this represents an awesome coincidence or the card company got the memo about the Palin fiasco some 16 years before the general public. You be the judge.

Court adjourned.

Old School Pic of the Week 9.13

I'd be lying if I said I didn't look at Twitter's trending topics each time I log in, though more often than not they are meaningless and arbitrary (a current top 10 trend in the U.S. is #AnnoyingThingsPeopleSay.) But early on Sunday, Twitter gave me the greatest meaningless and arbitrary gift I could have ever asked for, the trending topic of #randomNBAplayers. Needless to say, I wasted the next few hours tweeting every random NBA player of all-time I could think of until I had real-life-type things to do. (The full transcript is available here.)

For this week's photo, I wanted to continue that theme with a lovely image of everyone's favorite mullet-clad, 7-foot-2, former Florida Gator, San Antonio Spur, and Mobile Reveler, Dwayne Schintzius!

With career averages of 2.7 points and 2.5 rebounds per game -- not to mention a 40.4% field goal percentage -- Schintzius could in fact be the league's most random player ever.

Old School Pic of the Week 9.6

In light of Maryland football trotting out quite possibly the most hideous sports uniforms ever to hit the playing field, Andy Gray of Sports Illustrated announced he would be compiling a photo gallery for the SI Vault of history's ugliest sports uniforms. While I easily could've posted a photo of the early 90's Nets "Tie Dye Unis" to fit the theme, I decided to go another route and focus instead on history's ugliest player. Hence, the photo of Sam Cassell.

Court adjourned.