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Showing posts with label andray blatche. Show all posts
Showing posts with label andray blatche. Show all posts

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Mock Draft 1.0 (Post-Unibrow Sweepstakes Edition)

1. New Orleans Hornets - Anthony Davis
Move over Miami, there's a new Big Three in town: Eric Gordon, Anthony Davis, and The Unibrow. Is The Big Easy ready for the NBA's newest triumvirate? (Nickname suggestion: The Big Threesy?)

2. Charlotte Bobcats - Harrison Barnes
Though Barnes has been slipping on draft boards, Michael Jordan isn't shy about taking fellow Tar Heels and this is his opportunity. Luckily for Jordan and his less-than-impressive track record, Barnes should be a solid pro even if it is a reach to take him at #2.


3. Washington Wizards - Bradley Beal
The Wiz could definitely use a big man here. But drafting the high-upside Andre Drummond and putting him with one of the league's foremost models of inconsistency and lack of focus (Andray Blatche) is a pretty good way to ensure he'll be a bust. A backcourt-mate to pair with John Wall is also a high priority and Beal's shooting ability makes him the best candidate.


4. Cleveland Cavaliers - Michael Kidd-Gilchrist
Alonzo Gee was the Cavs' starting small forward last year. You don't win championships with Alonzo Gee starting at small forward. If Dan Gilbert wants to make good on his guarantee to win a championship before LeBron James, he needs to not start Alonzo Gee at small forward. MKG can fix this.


5. Sacramento Kings - Thomas Robinson
As with many of the teams at the top of the lottery, they could afford to upgrade at a few different spots.  Another big man to play alongside DeMarcus Cousins could be useful with the backcourt of Tyreke Evans and Isaiah Thomas seemingly set.


6. Portland Trailblazers - Andre Drummond
A player with an NBA body and athleticism but questionable skills and determination, Drummond is the biggest enigma of the draft. Then again, Oden was supposed to be a sure thing and we all know how that turned out. Maybe this time the Blazers score big with their lottery center. Hasheem Thabeet is on the roster, so at least Drummond is guaranteed to avoid the title of worst center in Portland.


7. Golden State Warriors - John Henson
The Warriors were willing to take Ekpe Udoh with the 6th pick two years ago to provide a defensive presence inside. After sending him off to Milwaukee with Monta Ellis they should have no problem taking Henson, a player with the same shot blocking prowess but a higher offensive ceiling. Though he struggled to put on much-needed weight while at North Carolina, I see one exquisitely tasty reason why that won't be a problem for him in California.


8. Toronto Raptors - Damian Lillard
The Jose Calderon era in Toronto seems to be winding to a close. By all accounts Lillard has impressed  in workouts, and his elite ability to score the rock is unique among the point guards in the draft. (Irrelevant factoid: Lillard will become the first Weber State player in the league since Willard Sojourner in 1975.)


9. Detroit Pistons - Perry Jones III
Joe Dumars has both been hailed as a genius and ridiculed as a buffoon in his time as Pistons' GM. Perry Jones is a selection that will certainly reinforce one of those schools of thought. He's got the size and skill to be the best player in the draft, but his lack of heart and assertiveness have made him a major question mark.


10. New Orleans Hornets - Jeremy Lamb 
After taking Davis with the top pick, the Hornets will want to improve at point guard in particular. But if Jeremy Lamb is available at 10, he is too talented to pass up, especially with Eric Gordon's health always in question.

11. Portland Trailblazers - Kendall Marshall
With all the mystery surrounding Andre Drummond, the one thing we know is that he can finish alley-oops. Portland would be wise to take college basketball's best passer, a player who can get Drummond the ball in position to score. As is, the three-headed monster of Raymond Felton, Nolan Smith, and Jonny Flynn doesn't exactly strike fear in the hearts of opponents, so Marshall's presence would be welcomed with open arms.

12. Milwaukee Bucks - Tyler Zeller
For three painful months since the Andrew Bogut trade, there has been a white, 7-foot, somewhat athletic, fairly offensively-skilled void in Milwaukee. Tyler Zeller simply  has all the requisites to fill that void.

13. Phoenix Suns - Terrence Ross
It remains to be seen whether Steve Nash will return to the Suns, and they would probably prefer to bring in his protegĂ©, but both point guards worth selecting at 13 will likely be off the board. Grant Hill won't be able to play forever (unless he is the next Kobe robo-knee surgery recipient) so they'll need help on the wing. Ross is an excellent shooter and slasher and should fit well in an uptempo system.


14. Houston Rockets - Austin Rivers
Kyle Lowry appears to be on his way out of Houston, and there is no guarantee Goran Dragic will be re-sign in free agency. Rivers isn't a prototypical point guard -- if he can even be considered a point -- but he's got a rare ability to get to the hoop and has good potential for a #14 pick.

More mock drafts to come as the draft approaches.

Court adjourned.

Monday, February 6, 2012

NBA All-Head Case Team

The starting lineups for the NBA All-Star Game were announced this week, and though ten superstars made the cut, the vast majority of the league will instead be home watching. The coaches' selections have yet to be made, but we at Court of Appeals went a different route and chose to commemorate the players least likely to be selected by any coach. This is the NBA All-Head Case Team.

The criteria for selection to the All-Head Case Team is a player who:

1) In no way, shape, or form boosts his team's chemistry
2) Demonstrates outlandish behavior that overshadows positive on-court contributions
3) Is a liability to himself and others
4) Is bat shit crazy

PG - Delonte West
Yeah sure, Delonte posts career averages of 9.7 points and 3.6 assists per game, but he is better known for his (alleged) sexual escapades with LeBron's mom.

Even if we would rather give him the benefit of the doubt on that one, he is a liability to miss shoot around because as he states from 0:54 to 1:07 of this video, "I don't even wear a watch, I don't even need to know the time. 'Cause I get there when I get there. I'm on time. It don't matter if I'm late or early. I'm right on time when I get there so... I don't wear a watch."


Throw in the Three Loaded Guns On a Motorcycle Fiasco of 2009 and Delonte is a lock at point guard for the All-Head Case squad.

SG - Gilbert Arenas


Speaking of gun fiascos... Gilbert Arenas was the unanimous selection (among a selection committee of one) for the 2-spot.

Technically he is no longer an NBA player, but the legacy of his insanity lives on. The fact that Agent Zero remains a free agent less than a year after averaging 17 points per game for the Wizards is a testament to how psycho the man must truly be.

Though we can only hazard guesses at the full extent of his crazed mind, if his Twitter avatar pics are any indication, Gilbert Arenas redefines Criterion #4 for inclusion in this list (that is, bat shit craziness.)

SF - Metta World Peace
a) See name
b) See any or all of following links:
    World Peace on teeth
    World Peace in biggest brawl in American sports history
    World Peace drinking heavily
    World Peace & domestic violence
    World Peace attempting to decapitate JJ Barea
c) 15.2% 3-point shooting

PF - Andray Blatche

Versatility is the name of Blatche's game in the context of this lineup. He could give you 20 and 10 on any given night, but watch out if he approaches a triple-double as he's been known to steal rebounds from teammates and beg opponents for them.

Add the arrests for sexual solicitation and reckless driving on a suspended license and, boom, that power forward slot is all Dray's.


C  - JaVale McGee


Typically, on one of these All-Head Case Teams you don't want to include two teammates for fear that they might bring too much chemistry to the table. Fortunately for my hypothetical lineup, both Blatche and McGee are on the Wizards (who own a 4-20 record.)

He's garnered criticism for the occasional audacious dunk attempt in blowout losses, but his mom has gone on the record saying her son is "not a knucklehead." Mrs. McGee may be telling the truth, but her sheer presence could be a distraction to this squad as long as Delonte is around.

Reserves:

DeMarcus Cousins
Michael Beasley
Ivan Johnson
DeShawn Stevenson
Chris Andersen
Stephen Jackson
Zach Randolph (2001 version)


Court adjourned.